Through The Darkness
by flowerninja
Summary: What happens when Kate shows up at Castle's door, asking him for forgiveness, her heart breaking, his heart broken. Will he stay with her Through the Darkness, or let her go? After "A Bellicose Slap to the Face."
1. After every Storm

While Alexis prepared for her 4 hour drive home tomorrow, with no idea about what was going on at home, Rick sat on his couch, thinking. Thinking about _her._ How much he loved _her_. And how angry he was with _her._ But how he loved _her_ just the same. A knock on the door tore Castle from his thoughts. He slowly stood up out of his chair, groaning. He ran a hand down his slung the door open. On the other side was a tired, wary, vulnerable, defeated looking Kate. That was a side of Kate he'd never seen. It scared him. She threw herself towards him, her knees weak.

"Castle!" she exclaimed, and pressed a kiss to his mouth. But he pushed himself away. Even though her missed her. Even though he wanted her. So badly. Even though he was furious with her. He loved her. "Rick.." she whispered, desperation in her eyes.

"Kate!? What the hell?!...I...Dammit Kate, I thought you...I..I thought you were gone. I thought you had left me. Left us." Rick said,his voice trembled. Kate looked at him,eyes filled with tears. She didn't deserve him. All the times he has taken her back,she doesn't deserve that. And she knows it. But the pain in her arms, her cracked ribs, her scrapes and bruises were a reminder. He gasped, finally noticing her injuries.

"Kate! What happened to you?!" he asked, helping her to the couch, shock and concern taking over, masking his anger.

"Castle. I am so sorry. I am so so sorry. " she choked out, tears gathering in her eyes.

"I can't..Not right now. Please Castle..Later. But not now." her voice was so weak, and close to tears. Normally he wouldn't take no for an answer, but now, he granted an exception.

"Okay. Alright Kate…" he paused. "God, I'm so glad you're okay." he bowed his head to hers.

"Oh shit...I screwed up. Dammit Rick I really fucked 's no way you can forgive me or love..." she muttered. But he cut her off.

His eyes flickered, turning a steely gray color. "Katherine Houghton Beckett." she flinched, he almost never uses her whole name. "Unconditional love comes with unconditional forgiveness. I don't forgive you because I have to. I forgive you because I love you. Love and forgiveness go hand in hand, Kate. I will always love you. Always. Never, ever doubt that." he said firmly, before pressing her to him, and resting her head on his shoulder.

"Rick….you always know..what..to..say.." she breathed against his chest. She felt his grin against her hair. When they pulled away, he caught her eyes, which said " _love me Castle"_. It was both a question and a direct statement. "Yes." he murmured. They locked open mouths, tongues stroking, soothing. A small _Oh_ escaped Kate's lips. Rick gentled his touch, remembering how sore she was. His curiosity was nearly gone now though, in regards to what happened. Her touch was all he felt right now. Her hands on his shoulders, his hand splayed across the small of her back.

"Rick...I love you. I love you so much. I'm so sorry, Castle. I'm so sorry I hurt you. I never wanted to." she whispered. It was almost inaudible, but he heard it. He brushed a kiss against her bruised knuckles.

"I love you too Kate. More than you'll ever know." he responded, his heart stuttering as her lashes graced his cheek. The unspoken yet ever present _always_ evident by the looks that they exchanged.


	2. Comes A Rainbow

The next morning

Alexis rested her hands on the wheel, cruising down the highway on her way back from college. It was her spring break, and she couldn't wait to see her dad. She only had half an hour left.

But back at home, thoughts and words swirled in Castle's head. There were still words that needed to be said. That weren't said last night. Because they were selfish. No...Because they needed each other. He knew that. But he still needed to tell her.

"Kate..You know.." he stopped, knowing he was going to regret what he was about to say.

His anger must have been evident in his tone, because Kate's gaze grew icy. "What?!" she asked loudly, her voice reverberating off the walls.

"You know Alexis never really trusted you. She thought you were going to break my was right. But when you left,she fell apart." he stopped, willing himself not to take the brunette into his arms and caress her back. She looked at him, eyes filled with tears.

"Rick, I thought you would just…" she started.

"Take you back?! After all the stuff you've put me through? It hurts me to think you would walk out on me. But it kills me to know that you thought you had to do this on your own. I was here the whole time. You could have asked me for help, Kate. And I know you thought you were protecting me, but Kate, you can't. The only way it can be done is if we do it together, and I don't think you want that." he finished, almost in tears, his resolve crumbling.

"You're right. I don't think I want that…..I know I do." she half-whispered. He gasped, shocked. "Castle. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I've been a jerk. I've left you, I've broken your heart, and Alexis' trust. You've always come back,but I just run away. You've taught me better. It's why I came back this time.." she said quietly. Tears were streaming down her face. Castle's heart broke. "Please, can we do it together. I love you Castle. And if I could do it over…"

"You'd do the same thing. Running away is your nature, Kate. But I love you all the same. It just means I'll have to chase you." he said solemnly. Kate's eyes widened as she realized what he was saying. "Kate, I'd do anything for you. Anytime, anywhere. You just have to take me with you." he concluded. Her eyes filled with tears and she found her way into his arms. He hugged her harder than he ever had before. Just then, Alexis opened the door to the loft, readying her arms to hug her dad. But she stopped at the sight of her father embracing the brunette that had broken his heart. Castle heard the movement, and broke the hug. When he saw her, he looked scared. "Alexis.." he whispered. But she whirled around, ran up the stairs, and slammed her door. "Shit. I'll go talk to her." he said.

"Rick, let me." Kate said, laying a hand on his shoulder. He nodded. Kate made her way up the stairs to Alexis' knocked on the door, bracing herself for the screaming redhead. But she heard the door open, and felt someone's arms wrap around her. She gasped, take aback by the unexpected display of affection. But hugged her back. Rick listened from down below, but heard no screaming or fighting, so he assumed it was going over okay.

"Ka..te. I'm so glad you came back!" the redhead choked out. Kate started to nod. "How could you! You broke his heart!You broke mine! And you had the nerve to come back!" she suddenly yelled. Kate flinched at what felt like a slap to the face. She turned away as her eyes filled with tears, but Alexis stopped her. "Thank you Kate." she whispered. Kate turned around, confused. The redhead flung her arms around the detective and pulled her down on her bed. Alexis sobbed uncontrollably into Kate's arms. For the first time in four years, Kate realized Alexis was crying like a child. Tears spilled down Kate's cheeks, as she cried against the younger woman's shoulder.

"I love you Alexis, I know I have no right to, but I do. I love you with all my heart." she said.

"I love you too Kate. I'm sorry" Alexis sniffed.

"All is forgiven, but in all honesty, you have every right to be angry with me. So why aren't you?" Kate questioned.

"I'm upset, yes. But sometimes, you love someone so much that you can't let them go. You can't love them any less. No matter what they do." she replied. Kate smiled, not trusting herself to speak. Alexis reached out a closed fist. Kate cocked her head. "Here. This is for you. It's… well, look for yourself." said Alexis. Kate took the small object in her hand, and looked down in disbelief at what she saw. A small silver ring with a sapphire set in the middle. "It's…" she started. "It's my birthstone." finished the redhead.

"Oh.." Kate started crying again. She slipped the ring over her ring finger on her right hand, and pulled the girl into an embrace.

"You've taught me so much. You've taught me how to love and let go. And that forgiving doesn't mean forgetting. I owe so much to you. You have taught me about unconditional love. That is more than my mother ever taught me. I love you Kate." she finished softly. The surprised detective sat wordless, tears overflowing.

"Oh...I love you too..more than you know." was all she could choke out. Kate sat, holding the younger woman in her arms. When the redhead tilted her head up, Kate relaxed, and sat back a little bit.

"Hey, Kate.." she began tentatively.

"Yeah Bud?" Kate asked, using the nickname she'd given Alexis a while back.

Alexis smiled when she heard Kate call her that. " I...When I was little, I used to dream about having the perfect family. A mom, a dad, and me. I never had that with Meredith. Or anyone else. I.." she began.

"Alexis..You don't.." Kate interrupted.

"No. Kate, I don't have to. I need to. I thought that would never happen. When my dad came home after his first day with you, oh...I wish you could've seen his face. Kate, he was so happy. I was scared, though. I knew that everyone he'd fallen in love with left us. I didn't want that to happen again. But Kate, as many times as you've hurt me and my dad, he still gets that same look on his face every day when he comes home. That's how I know-That's how I know, that this will last. Now I have what I've always wanted. I got my wish. I have a mom." Alexis finished, her voice shaky. But she offered a shy smile.

Kate drew in a sharp breath. Wondering if Alexis knew what she said. Knew that she called Kate mom. "Oh.." she didn't know what to say. "Oh Alexis..Oh sweet Alexis. I love you so much. I do. But...Are you sure…"

"Yes. Kate, you treat me like a daughter. The way you talk to me, help me, encourage me, chastise me, and the way you look at me. That's what a mom is. That's what a mom does." she finished, her voice a little stronger.

"Oh Alexis...I...Yes..Oh sweet girl...Yes..I'm...I'll always be here sweetie." she murmured.

"Mom.." Alexis whispered.

"Baby.."came the reply. Alexis threw her arms around the older woman. Tears splashed down Kate's cheeks, and mingled with Alexis'. Kate rocked the redhead back and forth, comforting her, assuring her, and just being there with her.

Castle peeked in on his girls. He was surprised at the sight that lay before him. Alexis rested in Kate's arms, head on her shoulder. The tears on Kate's cheeks worried him, but he said nothing, not wanting to interrupt this special moment. So he made his way down the hall to do some writing. A smile played on his face all the way to his office. He glanced at the clock on his laptop. It said 1:57 pm. He decided to give himself 45 minutes. He settled down into his desk chair, and his fingers flew across the keyboard.

A sound snapped Castle out of his writing. Well, more of a feeling than a sound. But he sighed, and looked around, stretching his fingers. But he didn't see anyone. The clock said 3:04. Wow, he thought. Longer than he expected.

"Rick.." a small voice came from behind him.

He turned around, and saw Kate. Her eyes red, a small smile on her lips. Huh..He sighed, slightly confused and concerned at the waver in her voice. "Kate, what's up? Are you okay?"

"Rick.." was all she said before throwing her arms around his neck.

"Kate Beckett! What is the matter." he said firmly.

"Alexis...I'm...she called me...mom.." came the broken response.

An untimely arousal flickered in his chest. Kate Beckett. His Kate. Alexis called her mom.

His heart swelled. He was so proud of his daughter, and so proud of Kate. The two women had come such a long way. But Castle remained silent, to overcome to speak.

Kate grew worried as the seconds passed, with no response.

"Rick, say something.." she plead desperately. Her voice tinged with fear.

He smiled. "Kate." was all he said, before taking her into a gentle kiss. Letting her know that he was overjoyed. That he loved her, and Alexis. That her being Alexis' mother meant so much to him. God, he loves them both so much. He thought.

"Kate..Please don't leave me….Please." he whispered suddenly.

Kate drew in a breath.

"Never again, Castle. I promise. Besides, I don't think Alexis will ever let me." Kate chuckled. She felt Alexis walk up behind her, and hug her around the waist. Kate turned into the hug.

"You're right mom. You're stuck with us. At least with me." Alexis chortled. It was a small, forced laugh, but it was there. Rick's heart fluttered at Alexis' use of mom.

"Thank you Alexis. You... you're growing up so fast. Thank you for being so flexible. And for being so loving. I know it's hard being an adult, but you've got it down pat." said Castle.

Alexis normally would have snarked back with a "How would you know it's hard?" But she knew. He has really grown up a lot in the last couple of years, so she kept her mouth shut. So she just said "Thanks dad. I love you. And you're not so bad at it yourself. I mean the adult part. Flexible...ehh..not as much." she smirked. He laughed, and Kate smiled. A huge gorgeous smile that didn't often show. She was just so grateful. She wasn't very religious, (they stopped going to church when her mom died), but she thanked God for this. Because only he could be responsible for giving her this.


End file.
